Book Club: A Better Way (chapter 4)

Belly flops hurt. Probably most or all of you have experienced that painful moment where you attempt to dive and instead the water hits your stomach with a painful smack. Ouch. Not successful.

The challenge of "A Better Way" is this: will you perform a successful dive into adulthood, or will you belly-flop?

Here's how they put it:
"The pool is your future life. The diving board is your present life. The Myth of Adolescence would have you think that now is your time to party beside the pool. But the fact is, you're already on the diving board.

"The whole purpose of the diving board is to launch us, with purpose and precision, into our futures. We will either make a successful dive into adulthood, or deliver something closer to a belly flop: a failure to launch." (page 49)

"Kidults"
This chapter of the book talks about "kidults", people in their twenties and beyond who still act like college students, living with their parents, hopping from job to job, date to date, and party to party.

This is the result of the Myth of Adolescence. Our view of the teen years doesn't just end when you graduate high school. It's a cultural mindset that continues well into adulthood. Do you want to be one of these "kidults"? Then high school is your time to have fun and party. Do you want to be a successful adult? Then don't waste these important years.

Revisiting George, David, and Clara
Last time we talked about George, David, and Clara, teens who made a difference at a very young age. Have you been able to guess who they are yet?

• George, who was the official surveyor of Culpepper County, Virginia at age 17, went on to become commander-in-chief of the entire Virginia militia by age twenty-three. He eventually became the commander in chief of the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War and our first president. His full name? George Washington.
• David, who took over command of a captured ship at age 12, went on to become the U.S. Navy's first admiral and a Civil War hero, David Farragut.
• Clara, who cared for the sick at eleven and taught school at seventeen, went on to care for more sick in her village, and then those wounded in the Civil War. Eventually she founded the Red Cross. Her full name was Clara Barton.

"There's a reason we still know the names and stories of men and women like George Washington, David Farragut, and Clara Barton. They invested their teen years in a way that shaped them into the history makers they later became." (page 55)

We have to follow their example and use our teen years to prepare for what we hope to be in the future, equipping us for what God wants us to do later in our life.

Book Overview: Five Kinds of Hard
In the next section, the Harris brothers will start digging into the specific ways to do hard things during our teen years. They outline five of them that will be covered:

1. Things that are outside your comfort zone, like public speaking, learning a new skill, or traveling to a new place.
2. Things that go beyond what is expected or required, like aiming for an A+ in a class when you only need a C to pass, doing chores you aren't assigned, or helping clean up from an event.
3. Things that are too big to accomplish alone, big projects like forming a ministry, campaigning for something, or fighting a really big cause like abortion, poverty, or modern-day slavery.
4. Things that don't earn an immediate payoff, like working out, doing schoolwork, and obeying your parents.
5. Things that challenge the cultural norm, like dressing modestly or refusing to watch R-rated movies.

Each of these things will have a chapter dedicated to looking at them more in-depth, which we will continue to look at in the weeks to come. Next week we'll start with Chapter 5, "That First Scary Step".

What do you think? Are you ready to reclaim your teen years as the time to prepare for adulthood? What did you think of this chapter? (Were you able to guess who George, David, and Clara were before I posted this?)

Surviving Public School: Conclusion (the most important thing)

I've decided that it's time to wrap up this series; I feel like it's stretching on and on and would like to devote more time to the 100 Ways to Live for God series. I've covered the basics, so instead of discussing specific classes over the next few months, I'm ending it here.

In case you missed any, here are the posts in the (mini) series:
Getting up on time
Morning routine
Bus ride
Class tips

The Most Important Tip
The most important thing to remember when you are in a secular environment (i.e. public school) every day is that God is always with you.

Isaiah 41:10-13 says,

"Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

"Behold, all who are incensed against you
shall be put to shame and confounded;
those who strive against you
shall be as nothing and shall perish.
You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them;
those who war against you shall be as nothing at all.
For I, the Lord your God,
hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, 'Fear not,
I am the one who helps you.'"

Do you see that? God promises to strengthen, help, and uphold us. He will give us the ability to resist the temptations of the secular world and keep our eyes on Him. He helps us every day, no matter what we go through. Trusting in that promise is the most important tip I can give for surviving public school (or anything, for that matter).

What do you think? Did you enjoy this series? Do you find encouragement in God's promise?

Book Club: The Myth of Adolescence (chapter 3)

Have you ever wondered when the word teenager was invented? Take a guess.

Answer: 1941. In 1941, a Reader's Digest issue used the word teenager for the first time. Just like that, the expectations for people our age changed. We went from being children, then adults, to being children, then teenagers, then adults.

And as the Harris brothers show us in chapter 3 of Do Hard Things, the expectations for people our age shifted dramatically with that simple addition of a word to our English vocabulary. We went from being adults at fourteen to being teenagers at fourteen and adults at twenty. And we went from being expected to command battleships at twelve to being expected to make our bed every day at twelve.

The Elephant
This chapter begins with elephants. The Harris brothers talk about how in Asia, people who own elephants keep them from wandering off with a wooden post stuck in the ground and some rope tied to the elephant's leg.

The elephants could break free of the shackle with a single tug, but they have some invisible shackles around their mind: when the elephants are young, they are shackled to a tree with a chain for a few weeks. This makes them believe that if there is something around their leg, they cannot break free, even if in reality the shackle is as lightweight as a piece of rope and some wood.

The chapter says this: "Could it be that we and most young people we know are like that elephant: strong, smart, holding incredible potential, but somehow held back by nothing more than a piece of twine? Left almost powerless by a lie?" (page 28)

George, David, and Clara
The book goes on to discuss three young people born before the word 'teenager' existed.

• George became the official surveyor of Culpepper County, Virginia at age seventeen, working on the frontiers to record unmapped land.
• David was given command of a captured ship at age twelve and had to keep an unruly British captain under control.
• Clara cared for her seriously injured brother at the age of eleven and surprised everyone by being very good at nursing. By age seventeen she was a successful schoolteacher.

This people were all given responsibility at a very young age, rose to the occasion, and handled it well. What changed?
*By the way, you will find out the full names of these people in the next chapter! Can you guess?

So What Happened? The Power of Expectations
"...the teen years are viewed as a sort of vacation. Society doesn't expect much of anything from young people during their teen years--except trouble. And it certainly doesn't expect competence, maturity, or productivity. The saddest part is that, as the culture around them has come to expect less and less, young people have dropped to meet these lower expectations." (page 36)

Expectations are powerful things. The book quotes Henry Ford: "Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right."

The expectations of those around us greatly affect the way we live our lives. When the word "teenager" was invented, it brought along with it a whole new culture and way of life. It created a new set of very low standards for people our age.

What the Bible Says
The next section presents a surprising fact: the Bible does not mention the word teenager anywhere.

"Instead you'll find the apostle Paul writing in 1 Corinthians 13:11, 'When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.'

"Notice what he didn't say. He didn't say, 'When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. But then I became a teenager and I looked like an adult, I sounded like an adult, but I still acted like a child.' No! He said, 'I became a man, and I gave up childish ways.'" (page 42)

God does not have different standards for young adults and adults. And if we are Christians, we are letting the Bible set our expectations and not our culture.

The consequence of meeting the world's standard for the teen years it that we waste these years of our lives and are unprepared for the future. We are like the elephant; we have so much potential but are being held captive by the Lie of Adolescence, the lie that tells us that the teens years are for having fun and goofing off.

The chapter ends this way:
"This is what we call the Rebelution: throwing off the shackles of lies and low expectations and returning our generation to a true and very exciting understanding of the teen years--not as a vacation from responsibility but as a launching pad for the rest of our lives." (page 45)

What do you think? Did you find this chapter inspiring? Do you agree that young people are being held back by lies?

Next week we will look at chapter 4, A Better Way. And if you haven't gotten a book yet, it's not too late to get one and start reading along!

Set an Example in Love

Everyone has a tendency to judge other people. We judge what they wear, what they do, what they say, and generally what their life looks like.

I feel like this is especially evident among Christian communities. Everyone has certain convictions about what they feel a Christian should live like; it can be different, and sometimes we look down on others when we do not agree with how they are living their lives in Christ.

But it is made very clear in the Bible that this is not how we are to act! In 1 Timothy 4:12, Paul tells us that even as young people we are to set an example in the way we speak, the way we act, and, today's point, the way we love others.

Judgment and "Taking the Log Out of Your Own Eye"
"Judge not, that you be not judged...Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye...first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:1-5)

We are always judging others, whether we realize it or not. We look at others and think, "Wow, that top is really immodest", "Why is she cursing like that?" or "I'm so glad I'm a Christian and not like that."

In Matthew 7, Jesus says that we should be more focused on judging ourselves than others. Just because you are a Christian doesn't automatically make you perfect; only if we are perfect ourselves should we be judging others (that means none of us should judge others, because I'm pretty sure none of us are perfect!).

Everyone has different sins that they struggle with; just because some people's sins are more visible than others doesn't make them "worse Christians" or something like that.

Acceptance vs. Approval
That's not to say that we need to agree with everything others are doing. Sometimes, people are sinning so obviously that it's hard to ignore. But acceptance and approval are two different things: let's look at what those two things mean.

Acceptance: to be willing to interact with and/or tolerate others, even if they are difficult.
Approval: agreeing to something.

You don't have to approve of everything someone does to show them love and kindness. You can accept them anyway, even if they may be difficult or hard to be around.

Christ Loved Us; Now Show His Love to Others
The ultimate reason that we should show love to others is because of the amazing love Christ showed us on the cross. We are now called to share that love with others; how are they going to believe that God is loving if they see His followers being disrespectful, mean, and unkind?

We are God's lights in the world; we reflect His being, and our reputation forms other peoples' impressions of Him. Give them something wonderful to see!

What do you think? Do you agree with my points? How can you show love to others in your everyday environment?

100 Ways: Be Thankful, Be Selfless, Be Social

So far, we have eight things on our list of ways to live for God. These include concrete actions such as reading your Bible, memorizing Scripture, and dressing modestly, as well as things that are more abstract, such as committing your life to the Lord and not thinking about yourself as "just a teenager".

Today I'm adding to the list with three more: thankfulness, selflessness, and fellowship in church.

The Full List So Far

1. Read your Bible every day.
2. Put a reminder that teens can do great things, like 1 Timothy 4:12, on a sticky note and post it somewhere you see every day.
3. Whenever you get dressed in the morning, ask yourself if you would want to go out to lunch with Jesus in what you are wearing.
4. Memorize Scripture regularly.
5. Make prayer your automatic response to a difficult situation.
6. Commit or recommit your life to God and trust His perfect plan.
7. Commit your work to the Lord and then do it in a way that would make him proud.
8. Speak out as a witness to others.

9. Focus on thankfulness and avoid complaining.
Psalm 100:4 says: "Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise! Give thanks to Him; bless His name!"

God loves joy and thankfulness. Notice that there is nothing in that verse about complaining about things or being sad. It is all joy.

A good way to refocus your life on God and grow in your faith is to focus on giving thanks in all things. Try keeping a journal of things you are thankful for, like we did in the Thanksgiving Challenge in November. Avoid complaining, even when it's what everyone else is doing, and try to find the positive instead.

10. Be selfless; think of others before yourself.
Showing love to others is one of the most important callings that we have in Christ. God loves us with an everlasting love; it's up to us to show this love to others.

Think of others before yourself: do helpful things, show kindness and patience to those around you, and follow the words of 1 Corinthians 13:

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

11. Go to church and participate in church events.
It might seem like church isn't a necessary thing to do; maybe you feel that it's sort of an optional thing for Christians who want to look really pious and righteous. But going to church is one of the most important things you can do for your faith!

In our everyday life, we are surrounded by people who don't believe the things that we do. That can have an influence on the way you live your life. So go to church and interact with others who hold the same beliefs and standards of living. The fellowship with other believers will strengthen your faith and leave you encouraged and refreshed.

What do you think? Are you using any of the tips on the list so far to live for God in new ways? Do you like today's additions? How is this series impacting your life? Tell me in the comments!

P.S. You can find the rest of this series here if you missed it.

A Crucial Cross

 

A long time ago, very long ago in fact, a man was about to be put to death. His crime? Saying that he was the Son of God. He would be crucified on a cross to satisfy the demands of an angry mob.

Some people believe that three days later, he rose from the dead and ascended into Heaven.

His name? Jesus.

If you are a Christian, you probably know what you celebrate on Easter: the day that God's Son rose from the dead and ascended into heaven, lifting the punishment for sinners so that all who believe could have eternal life in heaven.

But why was this necessary and what does it mean for us?

Why Did Jesus Have to Die?
So why couldn't God just let our sin go and take us to heaven anyway?

To put it simply, for God to be a God who can let sinfulness go, he also has to let righteousness go. In other words, no punishment, no reward. God would be indifferent to the whole thing. Is that the kind of God you want? Probably not.

God has to punish sinfulness. But this created a problem for us when sin came into the world: all of us are sinful. Romans 3:23 says, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..."

No one is exempt from this; in order to go to heaven you would have to live a perfect life and follow all of God's commandments perfectly. Unfortunately, none of us are capable of doing that. So Jesus came. He lived his life perfectly, following all of God's commandments, and then died a sinner's death that he did not deserve.

What Does This Mean for Us?
Jesus was our substitute; all of our sins are forgiven and we can now go to live in heaven with God.

This doesn't, however, mean that you don't try to live a life pleasing to God; on the contrary, if you love God you want to please Him. Just because we aren't capable of perfection doesn't mean we shouldn't try to get closer.

Accepting Jesus changes your life. If you are not a Christian, I encourage you to talk to someone you know who is and ask them to help you understand these things better.

If you are a Christian, rejoice in the knowledge that Christ died to save you and that one day you will live in heaven with God! Recommit your life to serving Him and growing to become more like Christ.

Happy Easter! He is risen!

One Big Reason Why the News Shouldn't Scare You

All you have to do these days to freak yourself out for weeks is open a newspaper.

When you pick one up, you read about terrorist attacks, deadly diseases, greedy governments in other countries...where does it end? When will it end? And how are you going to sleep at night?

We find the answers to these questions in Psalm 2.

Psalm 2 begins, "Why do the nations rage and the peoples plot in vain? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together...He who sits in the heavens laughs; the Lord holds them in derision...Now therefore, O kings, be wise: be warned, O rulers of the earth..." (boldface added).

The truth is, as we learn from this Psalm, God holds power over everything and everyone on this earth. Those who plot evil things will eventually be destroyed, as God "holds them in derision" (which means scorn or disgust), and those who trust in God for their salvation will receive eternal life.

Earthly kings and powers can't do anything unless God lets them. Possible terrorist attacks, spread of disease, or world wars can only come to pass if God allows them to. Isn't that reassuring?

So next time you read, watch, or hear the news, remember that you have a reason to hope and no reason to fear. God is watching over His people; he will protect you and do what is best for you no matter what.

And in the meantime, since you know God is the one with power over these things, be praying! When you hear something in the news that worries you, take it to God in prayer. Since He has ultimate control, it's the best thing you can do for the world.

What do you think? Are you freaked out by the news? Can you use these truths to be reassured? How do you keep from despair when it seems like everything in the world is going wrong? Tell me in the comments below!