Book Club: That First Scary Step (chapter 5)

What is the scariest thing you have ever done? Was it performing a speech? Starting at a new school? Reaching out to talk to the unpopular person at school?

How did you feel afterward? Most likely you felt like a champion, better about yourself, and excited.

So why don't we do things like that more often?

Going From "Before" to "After"
"This chapter is about doing hard things that take you from "before" to "after"...Just thinking about taking a step like this makes many of us fret, fight, and freeze. We imagine that monsters of terror, shame, and pain will eat us alive. But if we do it anyway, we feel like celebrating."
(page 64)

When you take a step outside of your comfort zone, three months later you hardly think anything of it. Your comfort zone expands and your strength grows. As Do Hard Things puts it, "What we consider normal for us changes, sometimes radically (page 67)."

But even though we have done it before and we know the results are good, we still resist the next new thing we are called to do. We are afraid to do it; and fear and faith are not compatible.

Three Misconceptions
Fears are really just lies. What are some of the main reasons that we don't take steps outside our comfort zone more often?

The book offers these three misconceptions:

1. We're not as good at something as someone else we know. (In other words, God uses only the best and brightest.)
2. We don't have all the resources we think we need. (In other words, God only uses us when every last thing is in place.)
3. We figure that the chances of failing and looking like losers are too high. (In other words, God only brings glory to Himself when we bring glory to ourselves too.)

Three Truths to Help You
So how can you get past these lies and step outside your comfort zone to do things you didn't know you could?

Here are three truths that the book offers to help you break out of your comfort zone.

1. God works through our weaknesses to accomplish His big plans.

"...we constantly find ourselves building that invisible fence (the one that keeps threats outside and us inside). We build it higher every time we say or think things like: 'I'm just not a math person,' 'I'm just not organized-my brain doesn't work that way,' or, 'I'm just not a people person.'

"What we're really saying is that we don't want to do things that don't come easily or naturally. We don't want to break through our fears. And by our actions, we're also saying that God isn't good and powerful enough to help us do what we can't comfortably do on our own. And that's a lie the Enemy loves!" (page 71)

Just because something isn't easy for us doesn't mean God can't use it to do great things. God can use our weaknesses to change lives. You don't need to feel capable of doing something; you just need to obey God and do it even when you're afraid to.

2. Courage is not the absence of fear.

"We're waiting to stop feeling afraid before we attempt anything. And--just to be fair--we're often afraid to try something new because of painful past experiences. We tried stepping out before and it blew up in our faces...We don't want to embarrass ourselves again." (page 74)

The book says that the problem with this thinking is that if we wait for our fear to be gone, we will never do hard things, because your fear will never be gone. Never trying to do anything is worse than discomfort and failure.

Courage is simply not allowing fear to control your actions, but stepping out in faith anyway.

3. You can't get to success without risking failure.

"We all like to win. It sure beats losing. But a very promising competitive streak can also breed a very limiting dread of failure. If I do this and fail, we tell ourselves, disaster will follow and everyone will know I'm a loser.

"Do you see the all-or-nothing fallacy in that line of thinking? The choice is win...or disaster. But the truth in this area is so liberating. Unless we're being intentionally foolish, a failure is never total. We aren't called to be successful all the time. We're called to be faithful, to take those first difficult steps--and to leave the results up to God." (page 78)

Even if you fail at something, you will have grown through it. Even if you fail, you have pushed yourself beyond your limits and gotten stronger. Failure is not a reason to give up.

Experience Fulfillment
Don't let your fear keep you from stepping out from your comfort zone and experiencing new things. If we keep letting God move us forward despite our fears, we will find fulfillment in the life God has planned.

The book quotes Corrie ten Boom: "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." Because we know that God has our lives under control, we can trust that He will never ask us to do scary things without a reason, and that He is with us every step of the way.

What do you think? Did you like this chapter? Is this something you struggle with? Can these truths help you the next time you are facing a scary situation?

*Next week we will be looking at Chapter 6, "Raising the Bar". And if you don't have a copy of the book yet, it's not too late to get one and join in the study!